Nikki Chau » Personal

Seven Days Without Twitter

Nikki Chau — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 22:08:21 +0000

This time last year, I went on my first meditation retreat. It was a 10-day Vipassana silent retreat, which my boyfriend calls “meditation boot camp”, because I couldn’t bring anything: no books, no journal, no phone, no computer, no facebook, no twitter. I couldn’t even talk or make eye contact with my fellow retreat goers.

“You’re not gonna last a day,” he supportively predicted. I laughed because he knows me too well. I am a child of the internets/multitasking age. I’m a child that grew up with the radio on, the TV blaring, I’m on the phone, on IM, and doing my homework at the same time. I’m the generation where ADD, diagnosed or not, is a common disorder.

On top of that, the temperament, or constitution in the Indian Ayurvedic system, I was born with is characteristic of the wind: airy and fast-moving. Working with the ADD tendency is hard enough, it’s even harder in a culture such as ours, where everyone and everything seems to be all about distraction (for example: a cable news screen would have stock ticker at the bottom of the screen, weather, traffic on top, headline news running across, and four political commentators in separate locations on the main screen, and a tweet stream on the side).

In other words, I’m SOL when it comes to cultivating any ability to concentrate and focus for long periods of time. And yet, focus and concentration is the very thing I’m working on as a dedicated meditator.

Now what?

So, I’ve decided to give myself some bitter medicine. I’ve decided to go without Twitter and Facebook for a while. How long of a while? Well, I lasted seven days this first round. The first day was the hardest, when I would go and justthisclose to opening TweetDeck, when I’d stop myself. I do realize that there are many many useful uses for Twitter. I’d use it if I were stuck in storm in the middle of nowhere. I’d use it if I were at a conference and looking for fellow conference goers.

I had very many normal, ordinary uses for Twitter this past week, like asking for recommendations for places to eat and stay when I was in Portland, Oregon, or wondering if an event I was going to was cancelled or not. I made do without Twitter, however, in keeping with my vow.

So, I’ll be keeping track of my experience, and no doubt write about it here.

Where Has All The Attention Gone?

Nikki Chau — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 05:59:51 +0000

I’m frantically typing, though I have been silently composing this post in my head for a few hours, and that’s exactly the thing I want to write about.

You see, I’m at this conference today. Because I have poor long-distance eyesight, I normally sit close to the stage. Today I was out chatting for too long before the whole thing started, so I sat in the back, the very back, and on the outer edge. You could say that I got a bird-eye view of the whole audience.

What I witnessed over the whole day made me think really hard about myself and my attention span, or lack thereof. I saw people, smart, awesome, fun, engaging, intelligent people, with their laptops open, emailing for a few seconds, IMing, then back to a Word doc, then to a Facebook page, then on to Amazon, then looking up to look at the speaker, then back to email again. Flip, flip, flip, flip, flip. It was like watching my boyfriend during the season opener of football, where he’s going from channel to channel to channel, checking out all the action. I was dizzy just watching it all.

Maybe it’s always been like this. Maybe I’ve always been like this. But holy bananas, today was the first time it really hit me hard. I know the pattern all too well: I do it too. Every other second I’m on another web page, another application, another thought. I concluded long ago that I have the attention span of a cockroach on speed when I started meditating seriously. During my 10-day Vipassana meditation course, I sat for 14 hours a day, 13 hours and 59 minutes of which I thought about everything under the sun, whatever randomness popped into my head is what I hopped on to.

I’m just… in this general state of bewilderment right now, not because of what I saw other people do, but because I just saw what *I* do. I used to be extremely proud of the fact that I can do several hundred things at a time, but now, I’m not so sure. Why can’t I just sit and pay attention to one thing? I closed my laptop and put my phone on Airplane mode, just to save me from myself, and every other minute, I had to fight off the urges to revert that decision. Several times, I lost.

And when I had nothing to “do”, per se, other than focus on the speakers and what they were saying, I wanted to eat. I probably ate way more than I needed to. Why? I don’t know exactly, but possibly because of the anxiety of not doing all those other things, like checking my work email, and tweet, and write this blog, and … thinking about all the things I gotta do, should do, wanna do, etc.

How have I gotten this way? Where has my attention span gone?

One Leg at a Time: The New Chillout Manifesto

Nikki Chau — Sun, 09 May 2010 21:46:29 +0000

I’ve seen a couple Hotmail ads popping up around town and have managed to turn a blind eye, until recently when I got bombarded by them at SeaTac Airport. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, lucky you. You must not be the target audience or, “lifestyle fit” for “The New Busy”, according to the ads creator.

Introducing: The New Busy

Thinks 9-5 is a cute idea.
Puts their pants on two legs at a time. (ORLY?)
Woke up with a bunch of stamps on their hands. (Sounds like an SNL skit of Post Office Employees Gone Wild.)
Would be open to taking a class in their sleep. (I’d sleep through that… Oh come on, that was kinda funny.)
… And a whole bunch of other stuff that makes you go… wtf?

I am not the New Busy

I am the Normal Busy. Here’s how my life went the past couple days:

Thursday: Went to bed @ 1:35am. Woke up @ 7:09am. 55-ish minute commute. Worked until 5. Taught yoga 7-8:30pm. Drove to the airport @9. Red-eye flight Seattle-Atlanta 10:55-6am local time. Sleep time: intermitten on the plane for 3 hours.
Friday: Checked in hotel at 7:30am. Worked on presentation. Backed up computer. Crashed for a few hours. Went in the office @ 1. Went to the .NET rocks event @ 5. Dinner with team lead till 10pm. Back to hotel. Worked on presentation. Slept @ 2:18pm. Sleep time: 3 hours.
Saturday: Woke up @ 7:35am local time. More prepping. ReMix Atlanta all day. Gave talk at 1:30pm. Met up with an old friend at 5:30pm. Went to the speakers’ dinner at 6:30pm. On the road again at 7:45pm. Got to ATL airport at 8:30pm. Flight delayed till 10:30pm. Got back in Seattle at 12:39am local time. Left the airport at 1:19am. Got to bed at 2:26am. Sleep time:5 hours 16 minutes.

(I know the exact details of my sleep and wake time thanks to the iPhone app Sleep Cycle.)

The New Busy Would Have a HeartBurn By Now

I did not put my life’s schedule here to show how “busy” I am. I know I’m not that busy. I know I’ve got *nothing* on a lot of people. I don’t have kids, pets, or plants. I’m not directly responsible for any living, sentient beings. My boyfriend and I see each other 5 times a year (okay, maybe 6). In other words, I live a very selfish life, concerning only with keeping one single thing functioning: me.

And I’m barely keeping up with that.

So, when I was going through the security line at Seatac airport and the Hotmail ads lining the trays smugly told me that “The New Busy would have had their belt off by now”, I was slightly irked, but amused. I’m surprised The New Busy even bother to wear belt, and not elastic waist pants.

When I got back to Seattle from Atlanta late last night, again, the New Busy was in my face. “The New Busy always has a suitcase packed.” That’s because the New Busy never unpacks, I thought, thinking of George Clooney and the movie Up in the Air. The New Busy would have had a divorce by now. How’s that for an ad?

Vienna Waits For You

Years ago when I was an intern at WaMu eCommerce (yup, *that* WaMu), my mentor Keith Willsey told me to read Peopleware: Productive Projects and Teams, by Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister. I’ve since read it at least once a year, and it never gets old. Among many of the messages mentioned are: “Vienna waits for you”, taken from Billy Joel’s title song.

Slow down, you’re doing fine
You can’t be everything you want to be
Before your time
Although it’s so romantic on the borderline tonight
Tonight,…
Too bad but it’s the life you lead
you’re so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need

The Imagination Needs Moodling

Here’s what Brenda Ueland said in If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit:

“I learned…that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.” — Brenda Ueland

I love this book so much that after reading it over several times, I now subject everyone who even so much as breathes only one word about wanting to write to it. “YOU HAVE TO READ THIS BOOK.” I’d insist. So, I gave my book to a coworker at work, and after reading that, he, in turn, gave me another book to read: Orbiting the Giant Hairball: A Corporate Fool’s Guide to Surviving with Grace by Gordon MacKenzie.

What You Don’t See is What You Get

On the flight from Seattle to Atlanta and from Atlanta back to Seattle, I grokked the book. As soon as I return this copy to its rightful owner, I’m getting one of my own so I can highlight and make notes on the margins to my heart’s content.

In the chapter, What You Don’t See is What You Get, Gordon says,

The invisible portion is equivalent to the time the cow spends out in the pasture, seemingly idle, but, in fact, performing the alchemy of transforming grass into milk.

A management obsessed with productivity usually has little patience for the quiet time essential to profound creativity.

…

A healthier alternative is the Orbit of trust that allows time — without immediate, concrete evidence of productivity — for the miracle of creativity to occur.

The New Chill-out (Chillaxin’?) Manifesto

So, I hereby would like to write The Normal Busy Manifesto, and I’d love it if you add to it as you see fit.

I’m going to resist the urge to get busy for busy’s sakes.
I’m going to put my pants on one leg at a time.
I’m going to look at the food I’m eating.
I’m going to sit on my cushion everyday.
I’m going to, as the Boss said, “I want to know if love is wild. I want to know if love is real”

Hatin' on the New Busy ads

This I Believe

Nikki Chau — Wed, 17 Mar 2010 07:48:48 +0000

I’ve been interviewing, and I’ve been asked open-ended and broad questions such as, “Tell me about yourself”, and “What do you want to do?”. When I was fresh out of college, I remember gushing, “I want to work with smart people!”; or identifying myself with my degrees, “I am a Business Major”, “I am an Informatics Major.”

Looking back, I smile at my younger self.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s fantastic to work with smart people at a great company. And I still tell people what I studied in college to set background and context. More than that though, now, if given the chance, I tell people my motivation to work. Since becoming a yoga teacher and seeing first hand what it is like to directly make a difference in someone’s day, or life, I’m enormously motivated to help people uncover their potential. And I’m pretty sure you feel the same too.

Now, I’m aware of how cheesy that may sound. Yeah, yeah, let’s hear the jokes. Anthony Robbins better move over, Nikki Chau is rolling in.

I’m aware that these things almost always sound incredibly cheesy and sound-bitey through certain mediums, like, uh, the Internet. Oh well. I’m certain I’m not the first or the last to let their guard down ’round here, so I’ll put this out there anyway.

Tonight I was searching for a research study I read about a range of salary where it makes virtually no difference to the quality of life and the level of happiness of the wage earner. I didn’t find it, but instead I found this nice slide show that I’m digging a lot: Goodness And Happiness – Why Generosity Is The Future Of Marketing Strategy

One of the slides had the Hughtrain manifesto, which was quite inspiring for me to read.

We are here to find meaning. We are here to help other people do the same. Everything else is secondary.

We humans want to believe in our own species. And we want people, companies and products in our lives that make it easier to do so. That is human nature.

Product benefit doesn’t excite us. Belief in humanity and human potential excites us.

Think less about what your product does, and think more about human potential.

…

People are not just getting more demanding as consumers, they are getting more demanding as spiritual entities. Branding is a spiritual exercise. These are The New Realities, this is the Spiritual Republic we now live in.

The soul cannot be outsourced. Either get with the program or hire a consultant in Extinction Management. No vision, no business. Your life from now on pivots squarely on your vision of human potential.

Um, yeah. A few big and fuzzy feely touchy words there, eh? Like, Spiritual? I mean, come on, talk about overused and abused word, right? An easy word people use to sell you crap, right? Yup, let’s take a moment to roll our eyes and shake our heads here.

Okay, let’s all turn off our snarky skeptical selves for another moment, just a short moment, and consider things like the spirit and the soul in the least commercialized meaning and on the deepest most personal level. Think about the time when you went camping far away from the city and you looked up and saw the whole entire constellation twinkling above, and you just got really quiet and stared up at the sky with a certain sense of wonder, and you didn’t even feel the need to tweet or update your facebook status about it.

Or, think of the time when you were just so moved and inspired by someone, when you hear about the story of a human who’s overcome something so awful and achieved something great, like the last time you watched “Rudy”, or read about an Olympics athlete who have failed and failed and failed so hard so many times before earning their medal.

For me, the last three times I felt this way were:

Watching Hannah Kearney win Gold in Vancouver after her stumble in Turin
Watching Roger Ebert’s interview on Oprah.
The story of actress Carey Mulligan, recently nominated for an Oscar’s, who was rejected by not one, but three drama schools and was working as a barmaid before she became an actress.

And so, you know, corn and cheese and snark aside, I *do* believe that we want to do good, fun, meaningful, purposeful work. Not preachy, holier-than-thou, d0-gooders-are-better kind of work. No, we don’t all have to drop everything and run off and join the Peace Corps. At the core, I believe that we all yearn to do work that lets us express ourselves and means something to someone’s soul and spirit.

Okay, thanks for playing. We can put our hard-knock-life jade shell back on now.

Goodness And Happiness – Why Generosity Is The Future Of Marketing Strategy

New Haircut!

Nikki Chau — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 10:11:50 +0000

Hair has a special place in our culture, for better or for worse. For some reason, we can get pretty obsessed with hair.

I posted a quick status update on my Facebook, saying, “This whole business of having bangs that kinda are but kinda aren’t seemed like a good idea at the time”. It was just an observation that, while I thought it would be fun to change up and have some half bangs, they have proven to be a little too inconvenient for my low-maintenance approach to style of any kind.

Whadayaknow, I got almost 20 comments on just that simple status! So, just for fun, and to use some fancy iMovie editing features for the first time, I made a super short video showing off my bangs.