A few days ago, the reflection on Why We Blog made me pause. Yeah, why *do* we blog, Thought Catalog? Tell me. I want to know. The reason, according to author Nick Orsini, is because we are not permanent, and some part of us wants to be so.

“The quest for permanence is what makes us tweet the set list right after the show. It causes us to announce every movie we watch, book we read, and to instantly review everything.

Little by little, the camera in our brain and the pictures stored in our body’s memory have become antiquated. It is a romantic idea, but not a permanent one.

The memories we store for ourselves fade. The context of the pictures is lost when we can’t explain it. So we created a hard record of ourselves using the most rock-solid, written-in-ink tool we have: the internet.”

Today is a typical gray and gloomy day in Seattle. I’m sitting upstairs at Bauhaus. I was searching through my old college blog for the rap I wrote to study for my Accounting and Finance exams (yes, strange but true), and found this.

This is what I wanted to do when I grow up, almost 10 years ago. (Wow. Holy two-sizes-too-tight hipster pants, I was so emo it’s beyond embarrassing.)

december 06.2002.dawn.

I need caffeine, bad. Can someone prescribe me some Provigil extra strength right away no questions asked? But sleep deprivation aside, life at two in the morning is so peaceful, so… beautiful.

Fragmented thoughts carry me through the night… and music, music stirs me… I dream of the forests and the seas, and the city lights… here’s to the good life… When I grow up… I want to spin xml, be a web developer, debugging nasty javascript while reading T.S Elliot and Langston Hughes and Feynman’s curious adventures… groove along with hypnotic trance…. dance by myself and take that trip to Jupiter…

I want to stay up all night writing crummy poetry and searching for all the notes in c major… paris to the moon and wander in strange streets and sleep in cheap hotels… and read Yevgeny Yevtushenko over and over and maybe listen to Jacques Brel et inventer des mots insensés until the sun rises and do yoga half asleep and watch cheerios float in soy milk and run the world’s best software company.

When I am done with these earthly tangents…